{"id":447,"date":"2019-07-29T11:17:33","date_gmt":"2019-07-29T10:17:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/westankolediocese.org\/?p=447"},"modified":"2019-07-29T11:19:30","modified_gmt":"2019-07-29T10:19:30","slug":"partners-your-mate-is-not-to-abuse-and-humiliate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/westankolediocese.org\/index.php\/2019\/07\/29\/partners-your-mate-is-not-to-abuse-and-humiliate\/","title":{"rendered":"Partners: Your Mate is not to Abuse and Humiliate!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Rt. Rev. Johnson Twinomujuni<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

In every society, and\nin any relationship, love plays a pivotal role. In marriage, particularly, love\nis expressed in mutuality, caring, sharing and respect. Abuse and humiliation,\nin order to show superiority, to suppress, or to gain public favour at the expense\nof your partner’s dignity, is never the right way to go. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I had a better\nway to say what I’m going to say without sounding judgemental, but by doing\nwhat they have done to their marriage partners, some men and women have fallen\nshort, and in some instances shortest, of much that defines the sanctity of\nlife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my career and\nministry, I have seen and continue to see a number of persons abuse their\nspouses, to an extent of spilling their personal and private matters to the\npublic. This is very sad and painful! There is normally a perceivable\nimplication of blame that is loaded over the abused party, for a host of\nreasons, some of which are totally insubstantial or unreasonable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Before you shower your\npartner with legions of criticism, remember: One, you also have your own flaws\nthat disqualify you from being a perfect or even a better partner. Two, because\na blame is a judgement we make on someone in light of their actions, attitudes\nor character, first be sure that the object of your blame fits well in at least\none of those categories. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Blaming your partner\nfor having an illness, for instance, is very absurd and unfortunate! A sickness\nis neither an action, nor an attitude, nor a character.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crucially and\nactually, for a blame to make sense or attract rational justification, its\nrecipient(s) should carry a moral or practical responsibility for participating\nin the production of that for which they should be blamed. For instance, again,\nit may be both unreasonable and unfair to criticize your partner for behaving\nin a way that is a result of the dictates of nature. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In marriage, the\nfondest of all mutual relationships, our moral responsibility as partners\nshould be grounded in our non-detarched emotions that constitute our ordinary\ninteractions as wedlock parties. Along the marital journey, there are\nphenomena, which, as a matter of fact and of necessity, we should accept and\naccommodate as is, in order to maintain a healthy relationship and fit in\nlife’s drama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your mate is not to abuse\nand humiliate, but to enthuse and animate. You are to provide an environment\nthat will enable him or her to do best – to exercise his or her full potential\nand live without regrets, especially that you became his or her partner in\nlife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As we cruise or crawl\non, there will be moments of joy but also of hardship. Wisdom warns us at the\nvery entrance into our wedlock that it is a ‘for-better-for-worse’ journey. Do\nnot fall prey to the lies of pseudo and sham teachers who, due to their evil\nintent, wrong theology, or sheer ignorance, end up misleading our trusting and\ncurious generation that all will be well, provided one is a Christian. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course it usually\nmakes a big difference when we live by our Christian values and virtues along\nthe marital path, but because we are different and imperfect, we can be sure\nthere shall be difficulties, misunderstandings, and at times conflicts along\nthe way. You are not married to an angel! Your partner is human, weak and\nfallen. He or she will err, believe you me! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mahatma Gandhi puts it\nsuccinctly when he says, “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s wisdom. It\nis healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken, and the wisest might\nerr.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Therefore, when\ndifficult moments show up, you are not to blame and judge, but to respond\nemotionally, with a heart ready and willing to understand, accommodate, and\nforgive, even when, rationally, your partner qualifies for a blame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That we should move on\nno matter what, is the most ideal and our best deal. That view derives from the\nbiblical premise that a husband and his wife are one (Gen. 2:24). In love, they\nought to build each other and wish one another well. In marriage, we should not\nbe each other’s moral clerks, who keep looking for a reason to embarrass and tear\neach other down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the Bible\n(Mat.1:19-21), when Joseph learnt that Mary was pregnant before he knew her, he\ndecided to end the relationship secretly, because he did not want to subject\nher to public disgrace. Reason: Joseph was a good and righteous man. What gain\nhas any man in humiliating his wife? What benefit has she who humiliates her\nhusband?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Subjecting your\npartner to public shame in a manner that intrudes their privacy and crashes\ntheir dignity, is an offence only heaven will handle! Don’t cause your partner\na kind of pain that will take him or her eternity to get over!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Subjecting your\nbeloved to public disgrace is a manifold betrayal that no scale of moral\ndegeneration can read. It demeans your other half, degrades the parent of your\nchildren, humiliates your in-laws’ family member, lets down your confidant, and\ncrashes your fellow sojourner’s trust in you! As a result, your beloved’s\nself-respect, worth and esteem are squarely tainted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nonetheless, by God’s\nheavenly intervention, your intentions to mar your partner’s reputation might\ninstead win them the public’s conventional favour, especially due to the\nclinical and objective nature of truth. You might then watch the bullet of\nblame make a u-turn, shifting and fixing the damage onto the blamer! That’s the\nbeauty of God’s immutable fairness, which is exercised through His retributive\njustice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take heart, you the\nhurting partner! Though you now feel that you are a victim of your spouse’s\nmismanaged authority and\/or domesticated abuse, you are God’s child, and he\nknows your pain. He’ll one day melt off that filth of torture that you’ve\nstomached for long. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Commit your situation\nto God, and, by faith, look forward to His comfort and peace. At the same time,\nhowever, think about how much you might have contributed to the problems you\nare in. Admit your faults, and turn to God for pardon. Ask Him to cause a\nchange in you! Seek your partner’s forgiveness, and trust the Lord to mend\nwhatever is already broken.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Abandon every negative\nplan, discard any form of pride, exert no more horse power upon your dear\npartner, and turn to Christ for newness. Do not create a mess that you will\nnever erase. In its aftermath, you can never regain your full dignity and name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In conclusion, doubt\nnot that the Lord is ready to forgive you and make you a new you!. He alone\nwill recreate you and make you the true you! He alone will spare you the\nconsequences of the wrong decisions you’ve made, and the regrettable sins\nyou’ve committed. He alone will conquer the power of the evil over you, and\nrestore your full joy and peace. Yes, it possible. He and Him alone, Jesus, the\nSon of the Living God!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have a lasting,\njoyful, and fruitful marriage!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To God be the glory!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

+ Johnson, WAD.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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